


Desperate For Love

by SherlocksJohn



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Bottom Sherlock Holmes, Doctor John Watson, Fluff, Hurt John Watson, Love, M/M, Making Love, Making Out, Sexual Tension, Sherlock - Freeform, Sherlock Holmes Returns after Reichenbach, Table Sex, Top John Watson, kiss, make out, surprise, table make out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2018-02-15 13:17:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2230473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlocksJohn/pseuds/SherlocksJohn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John is still single , 2 years after his best friend committed suicide . He understands now that he had feelings towards Sherlock and can't get over him .</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay first of all , I SUCK AT WRITING . But if you take the time to read this and tell me what makes it better , YOU ARE AN ANGEL . Therefore comments are highly appreciated

The London air is so nice now Just for Sherlock to Breath it in .

Every ounce of him misses John specially now when the streets of London reminds him of their journey . And even when he was destroying Moriarty's Network the only thing that kept him going was reading John's blog. He hated himself for the pain he caused John.

But only he could cause such pain and only he could save John from it .  
So he out on suit and tie and grabbed his coat from Mycroft's assistant's hands and headed to 221B .

Obviously , Sherlock knew John wasn't living there anymore . So when he got out of the cab he texted John with his old number .

"221B Baker St. Now . -SH"

John texted back immediately 

"Whoever the hell this is , It's not funny"

"Good . Because I wasn't Joking . -SH " 

"GO TO HELL " 

"But I just got back ! -SH" 

No other text came from John . so Sherlock send another massage .

"You've changed . The first time we met it only got a text from me for you to come from the other side of London . -SH"

John at his flat was shaking from shock and anger . He wanted to call Sherlock's number . But the thought that the voice he'd hear was someone else's stopped him . But the last text got him thinking . "Damn it " he thought . and grabbed his jacket and ran to street to get a cab as fast as he could .

Sherlock on the other hand was making tea . luckily for him , Mrs. Hudson was out of town or she would scream to death when she see him !  
He could tell from Mrs. Hudson's made bed that she hadn't slept in there fore 2 or 3 days . So he assumed she wouldn't be back until the next 3 days . 

Sherlock put two cups of tea on the table and sat on the chair and looked out the door .  
Suddenly he heard the door shut and then footsteps . John's . Almost running up the stairs. He couldn't help it but smile .  
Sherlock put the teacup down and stood up with a smile on his face "Just in time ! " he said .

he could easily hear John inhaling and exhaling pace increase . Feel his heart beating faster . His vision flickering and him blinking too fast .  
"You .. You .. You .. " He repeated with his finger pointing at Sherlock .  
"Are .. "  
"Sherlock ! " Sherlock said  
"Alive " John said 

John closed his eyes tightly for a few seconds then breathed deeply in . John took a step in the kitchen . 

"Surprise ! " TAP ! and just like that , Sherlock got slapped ! 

John was now shaking from anger . A part of him wanted to hug him and the others just wanted to beat him senseless . 

" Umm , Not very welcoming ! " Sherlock trying to be sarcastic never was a good idea .  
"You .. let me .. belie .. believe that you were " John stopped and looked down a second . like the last part was hardest to say . "were dead " 

"How could you do that to me ?" John continued .

Sherlock Holmes can be listed first in between the people who respond worst to serious situations " Oh Wow helllo Mustache ! " He giggled at the newly noticed mustache on John's face . Which was quite funny to be fair ! 

John tightened his eyes and smiled sourly in response . 

"You keeping that mustache ? John my loss has really been hard for you !"

with that being said John grabbed his tie and pulled him close and looked straight in his eyes which now were inches away . 

"You really find this funny don't you ? Am I just some sort of clown to keep you happy and entertained ? A pet ? that's what I am to you ? "  
He almost whispered . 

" Ugh .. Don't be harsh John , I really am sorry . Not being near you has made me even more maniac and considerate " he said in a serious tone and he sounded honest to John . " But Now that's about to go back to normal" Sherlock whispered . John felt Sherlock's breath against his lips and it worked like magic .

Since Sherlock died John imagined this scene again and again when he realized he loved Sherlock . He imagined how he wouldn't make the same mistake again and let him go .  
There was a battle of conflicting feelings in John's body . The urge to kill him , equal to the urge to kiss him . After a few seconds in awkward sexual tension Sherlock finally spoke up 

" Uh .. Are you gonna let me go ? " he said softly . 

John (like he just had a electric shock ) pulled him even closer . Enough for their noses to be touching . 

"No . Never . " and pulled him closer for their lips to be touching as well . Leaving Sherlock's mouth open in shock . of all 23 possible ways of John reacting he never considered this one

Sherlock isn't someone who catches a thing so late but this time it took him John's hands on the back of his neck and him pushing his chest to Sherlock's to realize what is going on . That's when he couldn't tell the difference between fantasy and reality .

John pushed him against the table and made Sherlock sit on top of it as he continued kissing him . With one hand wrapped around the neck and the other pulling the tie to guide him . Sherlock finally respond the kiss by grabbing John's collar as he leaned down enough to have a better access to John's body . 

And let his tongue in his mouth . It tasted like sweet coffee . "wait . didn't John take his coffee sugar free?" he thought .  
Instead of deepening the kiss John suddenly pulled back "You .. have you been smoking Sherlock ?" John said out of breath . 

"Wha-What ? " Sherlock had the funniest facial expression . Panting from the long non-stop make out .  
"I needed some relaxation , you know , It wasn't like I was having fun when .. meth and cigarettes makes me calm " Sherlock said without thinking twice . John's eyes widened .

"You do drugs ? are you out of you mind ? "  
"It's not like .. I was alone and .. I got desperate " Sherlock confessed in a regretful voice .  
"for not having you around " Sherlock looked anywhere but at John .  
"Sherlock Bloody Holmes if this is another play of yours I .." 

Sherlock leaned forward and ran his fingers through John's hair and bit his lower lip . John moaned in his mouth and gave in . John pushed Sherlock and pressed him until he was laying on the table and Sherlock locked his legs around John's thighs . John's hands were now swimming through Sherlock's dark curls , grabbing it at some point and letting it go at another , guiding Sherlock like a captain . His captain.

Soon they began panting because of the lack of breath from the making out because it was wild kind of kissing for their age . John slid Sherlock hair to the sides of his ear with both of his hands . Gazing at detective's oh-so-blue eyes .  
"I've been .. waiting for this to happen .. in my sleeps " he let go of Sherlock's hair .

"Thought I'll never have a chance to do this " John whispered 

"You do " Sherlock said . "We do " he corrected .

"World would be awfully boring without my blogger " he smiled 

"By the way you're shaving that mustache ! It's ripping my lips " He said sitting up and biting his lips .


	2. You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're not asking the right questions though" 
> 
> "Then what I should be asking ?" John asked
> 
> "Why came back now?" Sherlock replied .
> 
> "Well , why ?" John gazed at Sherlock . 
> 
> "You , John . I left because of you and I came back because of you "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and Gentleman !  
> An update finally !  
> English not being my mother tongue holds me back from expressing things the way I want a little bit .  
> so sorry for my poor knowledge and also , please bear with me and enjoy.

After a few tense minutes of panting and then returning their pace of breathing to normal and when pure enjoyment was replaced with awkwardness and question marks , John finally managed to not run his hands down Sherlock's pants .

He sat down , drank what was supposed to be hot tea and Sherlock poured himself a glass of cold water to cool his body that was not burning for obvious reasons . he sat on the other side of the table , facing John in the front . Bringing the glass to his lips , he took a quick look at John , he noticed John's messed hair that was longer than before . Swollen lips and neck which seemed to be wet still . His shirt was stretched enough thanks to Sherlock that he could see his chest going forward and backward from the air that was filling John's lungs rapidly . taking a gulp of cold water in , he smiled . 

"Now that was extremely unpredicted " . 

John seemed to be waken up at his voice . " I- .. Um .. I'm sorry , I didn't mean to act out "

"I didn't say I didn't like it " John's cheeks flushed red a bit at the statement .

"But despite what we just did ,You here Sherlock -" he said hesitantly . "You owe me answers " he finally managed to say .

"Of course " Sherlock said in agreement .  
John suddenly became desperate remembering what he came for and anger built inside of him once again . He stood and put one hand on the table , burying his head in his arm , brushing his hair with his palm . "Dammit Sherlock ! Where have you been ? Why did you do it and most importantly , how could you do this to me ? " He shouted . 

John didn't realize how did Sherlock get so close to him to put his hand on his shoulder .  
"John .." He began , but couldn't go on . He felt so miserably ashamed . Far more than he thought he would be . Sherlock lowered his head to make John look at him . 

"My answers , won't probably justify this . The damage I caused you . " Sherlock said as John looked up to him .

"So I need to ask you something first "

"Ask me what ?" John couldn't believe what he was hearing 

"To forgive me " Sherlock's voice sound afraid . John's eyes widened .

"Forgive me , and all the answer is yours " 

John just laughed . "You're unbelievable ! " his laugh turning to a cold smile . "This is not how works" taking a step back . "Therefore No , I don't think I can " he said and turned his back on him and went downstairs , leaving Sherlock to realize what a mess he had made .This was not good . not good at all . "John I- " Sherlock said as he stepped in the doorway and stopped when he heard the door shut .  
He decided to go after him but as he opened the door to street , John was nowhere to be seen . He went back upstairs and grabbed his coat . and started walking on the sidewalks . "Lucky I have your address " he murmured . 

It was an hour walk to John's home and he decided to walk to make time . For being prepared about what to say to not ruin this friendship even more . Unlike always , he hadn't any plan on getting him back . He everything will magically workout and they'll be working buddies again . He should've seen it coming . 

Walking down London's streets he was remembered of running these streets with him the last night . How they ran like idiots and had to held hands to speed up and also keep John's hand from ripping off in that handcuff . 

A smile found it's way to Sherlock's face at the thought . He thought how painful it must've been to walk these streets for John .

8 pm was the time he arrived at John's door . He instantly rang the doorbell . John opened the door and was shocked to see Sherlock at his door . 

"Hello to you too !" Sherlock said as John was standing in the way . He finally sighed and step aside and let him in . 

Sherlock looked around . Unlike 221B , John's flat was tidy and almost empty . just a bookshelf with some medical related books , the telly of their flat , a sofa and his armchair . and his laptop on his desk . Nothing extra . Although Sherlock was a bit shocked when his eyes landed on the flower vase on the table beside the sofa . 

"Nice little flat " Sherlock said taking of his coat and putting it on the arm of the sofa . 

"I'm not even going to ask how you got my address " John said annoyed .

"Mycroft" Sherlock said looking down . Maybe out of shame .

John just smiled and sat on his armchair . "right " he faked another smile . After a few moments of silence , Sherlock couldn't take it anymore 

"I had to fake falling and dying or Moriarty's people would kill people that I cared about " Sherlock began offhand 

John suddenly rose his head to face him . 

"That included , Lestrade , Mrs. Hudson and -" he stopped , finally taking a look at John . 

"And You " he looked away as John's eyes found his . worried . 

"Then I had my homeless network to make a scene out of it . Mycroft planned it "

"So they knew ? " John murmured . 

"Only the people who were "in" the plan" Sherlock replied . 

"So , me seeing you fall , seeing you die , seeing you soaked in blood , that was all "part" of the plan ?" John narrowed his eyes on him . Now he looked betrayed .

Sherlock just nodded . 

silence again filled the room . 

"It was not over . I had to destroy his networks . People who worked for him . People who he had under control . His clients . I had to find and destroy them . " Sherlock said breaking the silence 

"If you believed that I left you , so would everyone . They'd stop looking for me when they'd seen the person I care about the most giving a speech at my grave " 

John looked away for the first time since Sherlock started talking . He didn't want to mention the fact than Sherlock watched him giving a speech at his grave . Had he seen all of it ? Him wiping away his tears , begging for Sherlock for a miracle . Had he heard him saying he was the best man and the most human human being that he has ever met ? 

All these thoughts were popping up in his mind . 

"You're not asking the right questions though" 

"Then what I should be asking ?" John asked

"Why came back now?" Sherlock replied .

"Well , why ?" John gazed at Sherlock . 

"You , John . I left because of you and I came back because of you "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will be taking this to the next level in the next chapter !  
> How soon it'll be written depends on how many people actually like what I write.  
> So Kudos , Comment , Bookmark anything please encourage me if interested !


End file.
